Sunday, July 8, 2012

A Broken Heart

Beware! This is not a fun post but it's weighing on my heart.

 Last week my aunt, my heart, my second mom was hospitalized with symptoms of liver disease. After a week long hospital visit, multiple tests, and a roller coaster of emotions we found out her liver was fine but she is in late stages of ovarian cancer. It hit us like a ton of bricks. The doctors discussed treatment options and her prognosis but in the end they told her 5 years. 5 years, really?!? After everyone left and it started sinking in her question to me was 'What do you do with that, knowing you have a time limit?' With a lump in my throat the only thing that came to mind was, you make it count. Is it a blessing or a curse to know you have a certain amount of time to live? I believe all of our time here is limited but most of us don't know what it's limited to. Is it better to go suddenly or know our expiration date?

It has me thinking about that Tim McGraw song 'Live Like You Were Dying' (Ronny by the way laughs when I tell him this. He says the concert is still fresh on my mind, lol). I would like to think I would want to know. To make sure I make every moment count. To do everything I wanted to do. Say everything I wanted to say. To be the person I wanted to be. To really LIVE the way I would want to live. 

This past week has really made me think about everything. All of a sudden it doesn't matter if my kitchen is dirty or the toys are picked up but what matters is that day I spent quality time with my kids and Ronny. I'm starting to realize the small things really are small so why am I sweating them. In the end I want to make memories with them. We are all on borrowed time and we never know when the Lord is going to call us home. All we can do is love and live with all of our heart. 

Hug your loved ones, you never know if that will be your last. Say I love you, you never know if you'll get another chance. Make each day count. My heart is broken for my aunt but I know everything happens for a reason and He is in control. I'm going to make what time I have left with her as special as I can and make as many memories as I can. I'm going to make it count!

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